Healthier

Health

Healthy

Healthier

Healthier than what?

Than the skinny, brittle, frail little girl

in the pictures from Hawaii?

Than the mentally broken, suicidal, dependent abused girl

bawling on the phone from her sophomore dorm?

no

than the slightly overweight, body shamed, stretch-mark-having bruised girl

staring, beady-eyed, from the mirror.

the girl that wants something out of life other than

validation from a man that never loved her anyway

who is tired of being told how to live and who to be

who has more good days than bad

who yearns to love herself for WHO she is

not WHAT she is

but you would rather she had cuts on her legs from fighting

the body that gave her life

or

permanent pain in her heart

blackened and burned to a crisp from the

years of fighting against that voice

telling her she will never be good enough

if it means she is fit

perky

able to hold up her head and not

hide from the camera

because that means

she is

healthy

and the insecurities projected onto her by her onlookers

naysayers sharing her own blood were all worth it because it

led to this “healthy” body and these “healthy” relationships

because men will only want her if she’s thin.