Lost

There is a difference between Faith and

Religion and when you say I

“have no faith” because I

don’t believe in a bearded guy

up there waving a magic wand

you are the one without faith

in me to know what I need

to believe what I want to believe

I’m allowed to be skeptical of some entity

that abandoned me in my time of need

that condoned my internal struggle

that says that suicide is a reasonable side-effect

for “fortitude of the will”.

and that those who commit it are “weak” because He

never gives us more than we can handle.

Well Fuck You.

I refuse to believe in some self-righteous son-of-a-bitch who

thinks that suffering is a necessary product of autonomy.

that somehow freedom of choice is more important

than alleviation of distress even though that very

autonomy puts the knife in the hand of

the broken and lets her

slit her wrists because it’s

the only thing that will give her peace.

the very peace that could be necessitated

the very peace that the mentally ill can never have

the very peace that we only find upon death

because God decided that suffering is necessary but

peace isn’t.

I’m sorry if that’s faith

I would rather be lost.